Pierce the Darkness

Current System Configuration: Bracing for the Storm
Earworms:
Carnival of Souls by Saviour Machine

Sustenance:
[Breakfast]: Spicy tuna and breadsticks
[Lunch:] —
[Dinner] —
[Coffee] Homemade mocha
[Starbucks planner promo stickers:]
Christmas Features: ********
Regular Beverages: **********
Total: 19/21

Carnival of Souls is such a lovely song. Take a look.

Unto the Gods I call your name
The crucifixion of my brain
As I wait for you

Into the field, I’ve lost my way
I’ve opened veins just for the day
As I wait for you

The thoughts that linger in my head
They cry out for the dead
As they wait for you
Call my name, Call my name

Into the Carnival of Souls
Surrendered to the fight
They dance upon the edge
They dance upon the night
To wake up in the dark
And find they’ve lost their way
Their way back to the door
Their way back to the light

I’ve opened doors, I’ve opened minds
I’ve opened yours a thousand times
As I wait for you

I’ve fought the battle from the start
I’ve opened sores inside my heart
It bleeds without remorse

The thought that linger in my heard
They cry out for the dead
As they wait for you
Call my name, Call my name

Into the Carnival of Souls
Surrendered to the fight
They dance upon the edge
They dance upon the night
To wake up in the dark
And find they’ve lost their way
Their way back to the door
Their way back to the light

It’s a song that Jesus would sing for us wretched sinners. It tells us of how He intercedes for us before the Father (the “Gods” there is taken from Elohim, the Hebrew word for God, which is always plural.), how He calls us, and how He died for us. He calls out to us continuously, trying to get us to pay attention to Him.

I feel like that sometimes. You try your darndest to reach out to someone and show that person your love, but that person never seems to pay attention. Of course, the Lord’s love is so much purer. I’m often tempted to give up. In fact, I want to do that now. I just feel like this “love” of mine is going nowhere. I feel like I’m so selfish in this. I want to let go. I want it to just wither and die. I’ve foolishly embraced it. It has to go now. It’s leading me away from my Lord.

I just wanted to let go of this now. There’s a big storm coming and I expect it to knock out the power for several days. Pray that it doesn’t.

I’m so sorry this entry seems so dark. I’m just tired of messing myself up because of this “love.”

Braving the Storm,

Your Black Lion

~ by J. R. R. Flores on November 30, 2006.

2 Responses to “Pierce the Darkness”

  1. Love is meant to make us grow as persons. In a spiritual sense, love is meant to make us grow into the image and likeness of God. If your “love” is messing you up and making you all dark and moody like that super typhoon, then it isn’t love. Go move on – there wil be many “loves” until you find the right one.

  2. Hullo Sir. I know I may not be the one to talk (as I after all have no real experience of- errm- being in love), but I do believe that you shouldn’t give up. Love- oh, love. It’s confusing, and often heartbreaking- but when you know that those feelings that seem to haunt you are true, then aren’t you just the luckiest man in the world. (No matter how screwed up you feel.) Not everyone is lucky enough to be in love.

    I believe that what you desperately need now is fortitude. (Thank God for ValEd) I know you have it in you, Sir. Don’t give up.

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