Review: Spider-man 3

Earworms
STORMBRINGER by JAM Project [OP of Koutetsushin Jeeg 「鋼鉄神ジーグ」]

Current Projects
-Putting together a D&D adventuring party
-Applying for my MA
-Yana’s Lelouch artwork

Current Reads
NIGHTWATCH by Sergei Lukyanenko

So I watched Spider-man 3 with my friends last night. I rarely call anything crap outright; I won’t do that either here. I can summarize the results of my internal conference as this:

While visually impressive (This attribute is actually getting less impressive as movies go by), Spider-man 3 tried too hard to tie together the plots of three villains and a love story that is getting far too grating on its own.

I agree completely with what Martin said in his review.[link]

Spoilers to follow:

I never really liked Mary Jane’s character to begin with; I always found that she loved her career more than Peter. Kirsten Dunst’s version does not help this at all, although I found it understandable that she would feel that way given Peter’s density to her own struggles. I found it admirable how she was able to forgive him in the end, but I feel that this was not really a decision she made on her own but an event brought about by the death of James Franco’s Harry Osborn/New Goblin.

Harry Osborn would have been really cool as a villain had he not been subjected to amnesia. What made the amnesia episode even worse is that it all seemed to end conveniently after he took a single swig of liquor and began hallucinating, with his father telling him to go seek vengeance. To be fair, the portrait of Norman Osborn on the wall was disturbingly lifelike, but Harry seemed far too easily convinced. I did enjoy his first fight scene with Spidey, though his costume was really lacking goblin features. Cool sword, though.

Thomas Haden Church’s Sandman would have presented a good challenge to Peter’s hate(and symbiote)-driven, one-dimensional sense of justice, but the “stumbled upon an experimental particle accelerator facility” device is just so overused. Given that they took liberties with the Spidey story to begin with, couldn’t they have thought up another way to give him his powers?

Furthermore, he seems to stop wanting to take care of his sick daughter when Venom steps into the picture. When Spidey and Sandman first met, I thought Sandman was trying to hold back and not really hurt him; later on Venom seems to have no trouble convincing Sandman to kill Spidey (and potentially, Mary Jane) even though the movie ends with Sandman not really meaning to kill Uncle Ben in the first place. If he’s not a homicidal chaotic evil character, then why oh why does he want to kill Spidey all of a sudden?

Venom. Although I never read the Spider-man comics, I know enough about this guy to tell that he’s a chaotic evil mass of ownage, not a guy with a shallow schoolboy grudge. Sure, Peter’s way of getting him fired was painful in the sense that he was practically fired the moment he was hired, but really, is it all that hard to spot his badly-Photoshopped pictures of Black Spidey? Did he really not see this coming? Spidey’s final battle with him was fun, though.

Lastly, Peter Parker. We all know that Spidey is torn between his commitment to being a superhero and his love for Mary Jane, however it just seemed to me that Peter was incredibly dense about Mary Jane’s plight as a small-time actress and singer while being absorbed in his own ego. Symbiote-possessed Peter was hilarious in a bizarre way: He always messed up his hair to mimic the typical emo hairstyle and was doing, in my friend’s words, “a Jamiroquai number” in the bar Mary Jane was working in. It was strangely amusing, but completely unexpected even from Symbiote Pete. His winking at every girl who passed his way was silly and looked more like it came from an old Jim Carrey movie, as was his flirting with his landlord’s daughter Ursula, who seemed to be crushing on him as well.

Despite the movie’s length, they just crammed in too much content and held it together with weak plot device glue. If only this was as strong as spidersilk.

~ by J. R. R. Flores on May 2, 2007.

4 Responses to “Review: Spider-man 3”

  1. Symbiote Pete was probably the best part there. Toby looked like a gay version of the guy in Good Charlotte

  2. Indeed it was. But it was the emo hair that really made me laugh.

  3. Well, I haven’t watched the movie but basing on what you wrote in your article, it does feel weird seeing how the symbiote’s actually affecting Peter’s real-life persona on an emotional level. Liberties are liberties but it’s starting to feel that all this reinventing they’re doing to Peter/Spidey is starting to kill the original concept that got people to love Spidey so much.

    Tough to see how marketing and the need to exploit merchandise opportunities is starting to kill a comicbook classic.

  4. Well, you know how these guys think. As long as it earns money, they’ll do it.

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